You should've seen the look on his face when he saw five officers surrounded my car and said Surprise! Some Sorry looking roses that are 3 hours away from potpourri. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Hey, cut me some slack. Harriette Winslow: You have to understand, back in Detroit where he's from, the police are considered the enemy, so he doesn't trust them. Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. Rachel Crawford: Sort of an Urkel Exchange Program? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo! Steve Urkel: [while Laura and Maxine hit Steve with two Boston Cream Pies] No, AAH!, WAAAH! Steve Urkel: Well, ya see, we had a little muffin mayhem. Waldo: Fifteen and that's as high as I'm going. Carl Otis Winslow: Yes and that's not all. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I'm here for you, baby. Steve Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. What bright side, Weasel? Carl Otis Winslow: Don't get cute with me Harriet. On the way to the Sizzle Club, I took a little detour to the precinct. I only got the date wrong on one flyer. Harriette Winslow: Carl Winslow, this is the most insensitive, unromantic gift I have ever received. Hey, wait a minute. Ms. Steuben: [after seeing Waldo's assignment] Waldo, this is superior work. Now you sleep tighty-tighy with all your mighty-might. then removes his hand]. But you know what, I find her very attractive. Here's What Steve Urkel Looks Like Today. I'll just begin a rigorist-training schedule. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Listen, Melissa may not be a cover girl. Steve Urkel: Okay. [Eddie agrees as Mother Winslow and Harriette walks out of the living room]. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. That's not enough time for Rambo to blow anything up. 7. Steve Urkel: Well, the earth didn't exactly move for me either! Carl Otis Winslow: I recognized him right away. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [after pulling his underpants out of his jeans] Sir, would you do me the honor of autographing my boxer shorts? Steve Urkel: Why, I can see the headlines now! Welcome to Leroy's! Steve Urkel: I think it's because these pants are so loose! 5. There's no justification for this behavior! I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. Willie Fuffner: That's different, you're my friend. Why she is woman, hear me roar. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey sweetheart, how about some pie? Carl Otis Winslow: [after being frightened by Pablo, the stick bug] Did you see the size of that thing? Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. I know how you feel about Laura. Laura: I mean it, Waldo. Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up. His parents were very upset. I wanna play some of my own records on the jukebox, but I don't know how to put them in. Steve Urkel: Uh, Eddie, is this a bad time? Harriette Winslow: Honey, that's not true. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No. Ms. Steuben: Get a hold of yourself, Steven. Harriette Winslow: Carl, you snuck into my card box and gave me a card that I already have. Carl Otis Winslow: [kisses the ice cream carton] Goodbye. I can turn you down without destroying your ego. All the doo da day. Carl: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Steve Urkel: My Blood pressure. It better be a dead relative in your excuse. Steve is the perfect son. Lionel: Really? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. Poor Laura has worked so hard and now she has to drop out of the race. Laura Lee Winslow: I'm not sure what day is this? Harriette Winslow: And it would be nice if you would support me sometimes instead of hiding behind your napkin and caring what the other people think. Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. Steve Urkel: But, I told you. Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? [after Steve's Urk-yeast exploded all over the room]. Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. [opens fire at Urkelbot who catches all the rounds in his hand], Urkelbot: [Urkelbot walks up to the robber and drops the bullets on the floor before lifting the robber off the floor with one hand], Urkelbot: [Terminator Impression] Hasta la vista, baby! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, cool. But I like myself, and that makes me cool. Heapingly, overflowingly, full! We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, so is Urkelbot! Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. Laura Lee Winslow: That you'll never go into outer space again. Muskrat Time! I want to know why my instructions were not followed. College Problems Student Problems Why are you guys dressed like that? Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? Harriette Winslow: You were gone for three hours. What did you do? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, there is a child outside digging up your azaleas. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Steve Urkel: L-long enough to get i-icicles on my nose hair Look! I just spend two hours talking a guy off a ledge, then found out he was a window washer. You kissed me. Laura: Yeah. No! Was it fair that you stood your father up for bowling? Harriette: Don't even think like that. Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. [Pulls Steve to other side of room] Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semster and you told me HOME EC! Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. Did I do that? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Waldo: I got close once. Laura: Steve, I know it's a lot to ask, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd tutor Todd. Laura: This is just a model, right? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cornelius Eugene Urkel, you have better find a good excuse to leave town soon. Rodney Beckett: I'm Rodney, but my friends call me Rod-meister. Steve Urkel on CBS? Steve Urkel: I just called my uncle at the Pentagon. Laura: There's an Urkel in our defense department? Laura: Doth thou love me? Cassie Lynn: Well, we just got some really hot photos of you being romanced by the Prince of Passion here. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You know, I never thought I'd see the day that I actually agreed with Waldo Geraldo Faldo. Why he showed great strength of character and what's his reward: you fire him. I got a nosebleed at birth. Carl: [after kicking Steve out of the house] And don't you ever come back! Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! Steve Urkel: Well, it starts out with a little cough. Harriette: I don't know. Waldo put today's date on the flyer. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well now that depends, how nice of a Christmas gift do you want. Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Curtis Williams: Laura, great timing. I'll tell you something else, Allison, I may not be the most trendy guy on campus, or the best looking and I'm CERTAINLY not the most coordinated. Steve Urkel: I've invented nuclear batteries. You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. Bushwhacker Luke: Me and me brother, we hate cops! Carl: I sure hope so because I'm wearing his underwear. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! But our little town only had ONE library, and it was for whites only. Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. Laura: Urkel, don't your parents feed you? Steve Urkel: Can I have a glass of milk to go with my face? Pass the salt, Edward. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Carl, Eddie: [after Carl gets shocked from the electrical current] STEVE! Robber: [threatens Steve] You! This means you guys have to go together. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say. Anywhere away from my Laura. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, that kid is bad news. Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge. I can't! You're making me blush. If you hit me, do I not sneeze? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You won't be sorry, sir. And I don't get many calls! Carl Otis Winslow: Tell me Harriet, before I left for work this morning, did I or did I not tell Edward to empty the trash can? Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. This is fantastic! Steve Urkel: Oh, why not? Steve Urkel: Oh, nothing. Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. Richie Crawford: I can break all this stuff. See more ideas about steve urkel, humor, urkel. Steve Urkel: [sobbing] In about a week or so, but she gonna have to miss the prom. I'm getting penalized because I'm emotionally stable! Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: No. Steve Urkel: I can't! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [seeing what Laura looks like without sleep] You remind me of a movie star. Harriette Winslow: Harsh? Ms. Steuben: All right, class. In Season 1 he was a supporting character and made his first appearance as a background character in Rachel's First Date and had his first major role in "Laura's First Date", however as of Season 2 he was officially considered a main character . Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? Myra Monkhouse: No, I came to visit my Aunt Monica, she's the Reverend Mother here, now why on earth would I join a convent? This isn't right Weasel. Would you care to heal them with a kiss? They're disgusting. Rodney Beckett: Steve, come on outside. Laura: Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded? Steve Urkel: Why, of course it can! No wonder you're my favorite grandchild. Boyd broke my glasses. Harriette Winslow, Carl Otis Winslow, Laura Lee Winslow, Rachel Crawford, Estelle 'Mother' Winslow, Judy Winslow, Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [in the rap video] We are a family, we share all we got and that's easy to see, cuz we are a family! Harriette Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Carl. We were just having a little fun. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, what are you waiting for? Harriette Winslow: No, you don't have to remind me of nothing. 2023. I can almost see what you had for lunch! These kids are gonna ruin everything, they have to go. Stefan Urquelle: You can take a bus or an airplane. Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [cracks a laugh but tries to stop] It's so sad. Carl was his horse. Who does these things? Should I be getting some Handi-Wipes? I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me? Mont gio sam eea!". When my dad said you fixed me up with Laura; why, I thought I'd wet my pants! Harriette Winslow: Mr. Niedermeyer, the only thing that's gonna go by is you. Laura: Steve, you're supposed to cook those! Weasel: [Eddie leaves and Weasel gets hit by Waldo] What was that for? Steve Urkel Had Some COLD lines for Laura and we all aint peep it Follow N Subscribe https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLt1bradMOW81OkAFlIZvfw/subscriberhttps. They just love juicy gossip. You know that? Steve Urkel: Swell, Punch! Baby Girl: You couldn't push me out of this park if you wanted to! Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. It's either a number or a letter! Then we par-tay, see no problem. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why? Robber: Oh yeah? Can you imagine that? When I was born when the doctor slapped me, I SHOT him! Steve Urkel: No, but it was moving kinda fast. Steve Urkel: Well, that may be what happened, but it won't be what the people believe. Harriette Winslow: I know. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! Laura: By being born first. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Ooh, that's nice! Trying to cover it up only make things worse. I promise, okay? I'm in big trouble! So I walked in the library, sugar, I couldn't believe my eyes, there were THOUSANDS of books just sitting there waiting to be read. I can't breathe! And even then I knew it wasn't right. Harriette Winslow: Laura, did somebody do something to you? Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! Carl Otis Winslow: Thanks for the present son. [someone has just smashed into Lt. Murtaugh's classic car]. Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. I never got an 'A' before. Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. Could you write that A down on a piece of paper? Eddie: Did Halle Berry return my phone call? Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! Steve Urkel: Waldo, how could you do this to me? Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. I do not like 30 people hanging around my shoulder, saying "Hey Senora, can you eat a little faster?". So they picked up all our stuff and moved us. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yes sir. Carl: Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom? I just wish it would all go away, Daddy. Carl = Son, you have disobeyed me for a woman? Carl: Stefan, you gotta help me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Big Guy, what are you up? Carl Otis Winslow: [after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. Harriette Winslow: She says OGD's a great kid, but he hasn't had it easy in his life. Jaleel White had a very busy handful of years in the '90s. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! Carl: Uh-oh. Stefan and Myra of left stunned]. Harriette Winslow: [enters the house and sees Curtis] Hi. Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! Needless to say she's not amused as he jumps on there]. I've decided to retire from the theatre arts department. Harriette Winslow: Now let me get this straight. [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the last one]. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! The bad news is, he'll charge you an arm and a leg. Harriette: [sobbing] Clint is driving off and Meryl will never see him again! You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. Ok, just give me a couple of days and I sould have it fixed. The hot chocolate will be ready soon. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. He interruped my phone call meant for Laura. So, what's cookin', good lookin'? Harriette Winslow: And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker. Carl Otis Winslow: Well is she still crying? Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. Carl Otis Winslow: Well yeah. Harriette Winslow: And you meant every word 8 years ago. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That stinks. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Aww that's cute. Look, Steve. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. [removes Carl's napkin from his shirt and tosses it on the coffee table]. Make my day! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura this elixir will improve my coordination, my posture, my vocal intonation, and I might even sprout a chest hair or two. Waldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? People just love juicy gossip! Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow? [Pulls him into a hug]. I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia. Steve Urkel: Laura! I felt like I was one with the Bee-Oh-Sphere. Is that the problem? She's mine! Carl: Rough. Steven Quincy Urkel: Come on, yeast! He's gonna drive us tonight. Steve who? this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. I'm Stefan sweet thing. Harriette Winslow: You can't blame them for walking, Eddie. When's it going to end? Judy Winslow: Boring. Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life. It meant a lot to me. Wha? Well it's not cool. Harriette Winslow: I am not! I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? Harriette: What's goin' on down here and why do I smell cinnamon flavored smoke? [reading] "Mongu! Steve Urkel: Is there anything I can do for you while I'm down here waiting? And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". Steve Urkel: Don't panic, my love! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll show him. Laura Lee Winslow: What you did for me tonight was really special. He's never used his! ABC/Warner Bros Remember Steve Urkel? Rachel Crawford: Good. Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, but only for one month. It's always tomorrow with that boy! Myrtle Urkel: Frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn. Steven Quincy Urkel: I will *not* sleep in the bathtub! Join. Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. Steve Urkel: I don't have to take this! Steve Urkel: How tough am I? Carl: Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead? To rob and murder? Rachel Crawford: It's okay, Steve. I'm jealous of Todd and you want me to help him. Me and Laura went ice skating together. Rachel Crawford: Right. Steve Urkel: I have a spectacular evening planned! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Officer Wigglesworth as played by Carl] We're on the same side of the law. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Weasel, you are the last person who should be giving me advice about girls. Oh, you're a sore for sight eyes! Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No, I *am* a serious little nerd. No more chimes. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Ok, you talked me into it. Harriette Winslow: Carl Otis Winslow, I'm ashamed of you. You know that in Kenya, "Urkel" means "a benign cyst on the foreleg of a wildebeest"? At the airport he picked up 6 bags. Ken: You make me wanna puke! "I heard you are looking for a stud. [leaves]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait just a minute here, Mr.McClure. Excuse me Waldo, is there something written on your arm? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl hasn't moved that fast since he chased a doughnut down hill. Laura: [as Steve and Laura walk in, the guests gasp again] Steve, everyone gasped. Laura Lee Winslow: Well I guess Steve was practicing his accordion. He just told you to get lost. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Steve Urkel: And lose that wonderful ocean flavor? Cassie Lynn: Try me. Carl: You know, the only thing worse than not catching any fish is hearing you sing about it. Cassie Lynn: That may be what happened, but that won't be what the people believe. Laura: Remember when you tried to teach me how to sew? Carl enters her room with Eddie, who is struggling to stifle his laughter.]. [the photographer takes a snap shot of Eddie nerously laughing as Carl drives him away]. No, you're not invited. [Carl has just gotten wind of Eddie's plans to have a flier party. [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the next name]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Hey dad. If you have something to say, just spit it out. Eddie: I don't believe wat just happened, dad took Waldo to the bulls game. It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. [Steve comes out of the freezer at Rachel's Place shivering]. Oh, I see. Eddie: Isn't there somebody else you could annoy? You ever been down to the slaughterhouse? You think I'm fat. Laura: Wait a second. Steve, what happened? Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up! Laura: You know, I just don't get why people are so afraid of our history. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I know that I'm not worthy of you, but I just can't help loving you. Your dad's runnin' late. Waldo: I can't talk to girls. 4 Mar. Rachel Crawford: It's almost impossible to find a job these days. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The librarian, a white man that I'd known all my life, pushed me out into the street and told me never to come back. In the 1991 episode, Steve Urkel was the cousin of D.J.'s friend Julie (Tasha Scott), who gives Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin) some valuable advice, after learning that she has to wear reading . Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. Waldo: Sure you have. Laura: Ma, the package said to cook it at 275 for 20 minutes. It's late. Myra Monkhouse: Um, one plus one equals fun? Laura Lee Winslow: No, it really bugs me that Steve is the only guy with enough guts to stand up to Willie.