Julia has been . I get that I might not be asked to future events as well. Rob: I'm just leaving for work. He sometimes vocally wonders why other teams and departments will go out of their way to help me with things but not him, and its because I respond to their small talk rather than shutting it down and gently rebuff social overtures rather than saying No, I dont want to get to know you better or similar. LW is a better person than I; I would be tempted to say, I desperately need to re-grout the bathroom and weed the garden. "Better days are coming. For example, Looking forward to the weekend? or I hope you get to relax this weekend.; My take is that if they wish to continue the conversation, they will do so, but if not, they can reply with a Yes/No. I understand theyre looking for an ice breaker, but its not that interesting to talk about Ill probably get to laundry if Im not too lazy. I wish there was another common conversation starter among people you already know. An Australian tech and business journalist echoed this: "Great the new unsolicited email intro seems to be . You'll hear it regularly in speech, and people actually might think it sounds funny/wrong to say "Well.". No other adult would be here. That question from certain people stresses me too! Why is receiving an invite considered such a stressor and its ok not to get back to the person. Is that the best you've got. It shows that you're a calm and cool person who is easy to talk to and has no problem whether someone says hey or hello. ), its pure formula. I cringe sometimes because a lot of the send awkwardness back to sender! advice overlaps with the kind of thing he does and yeah, it costs him. I have done that just doing errands/washing the car/housekeeping/taxes/library/walking the dog you? and still gotten a but are you doing anything FUN follow-up question(s). (via Shutterstock) 7. I think feeling unsafe crosses the line where a relationship cant be repaired. I do want to clarifyI miswrote: if my daughter says she needs to take some mental health time and thats why she cant spend an hour helping me w/ a family project, thats not fallout worthshes busy. Sadly its never QUITE a lie, hahaha.
30 Best Responses when Someone Asks "What Are You Doing" 200 Best Sarcastic Quotes and Funny Sarcasm Sayings - Parade How Are You Doing? How to Introduce Yourself in English Open your mouth and close your eyes andhold on, it got away., (1) Want to have dinner sometime? Its totally true that you can opt out of those things. You (if you are up for it potentially) yeah, thatd be fun Id be open to a one-on-one hangout but just out of energy for any group thing, if thats why youre asking laundryall the laundry. Its all back to the lines of dominance and power again. If the asker tends to demand stuff from me, Im likely to claim Ill be busy. The underlying assumption, is/. (Remember the FIRST part of what I saidthat Ive been careful to respect her autonomy since she was a teen. I wish people could just say I want to do (thing) do you want to do (thing) with me?, All I can tell ya is what I have been doing for years: LW, one of the things you could do is take a hobby (or pretend to) and have that as your backup plans. Folding the dishes. Its only a trap when the same people use it repeatedly to rope you in to doing something you would otherwise be able to avoid gracefully. I actually trained my mother out of this question by responding to every vague What are you doing on X? by saying Tell me what you really want to know. Fortunately, my mother is a reasonable person who understands boundaries, and mostly just laughed and said Good point, Z is going on and Id like to go and wanted company. She also totally gets my introversion and that sometimes I dont have anything going on but Id still rather not do Z is a perfectly valid answer. Yeah, I get that it is a soft invitation, but it also feels that the hard invitation has been tossed into my lap. And to this day, unless its a good friend with whom I know I can say eh I just dont feel up to what you suggested even though Im not busy, I get anxious whenever someone pulls the so what are you up to on X day? question. Justit can be a lot sometimes. Setting a timer or alarms. Maybe shorter comments go through immediately but longer ones need mod-approval? Nanani, that is absolutely true. Rather than rushing to respond, taking the time to understand what they mean can improve the quality of your response. Because it's funny when friends say they'd only run in chased and we know that's perfect because we could run longer. No, just running some errands. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. no one tries to rope me into something). 1. Theres always some kind of obligation, because theyre my parents and I love them and I want to honor what theyve done for me in giving me a great life. MY plans!) Sometimes your lover or friend may forget to send you a morning text. (This one is so trite that it takes a few moments for the humor to sink in.) If you dont want to go, just say so. TootsNYC, thanks for responding and considering what is said.
Hey, Reddit, how was your weekend? : r/funny Are you busy? Im a hardcore introvert, most of my plans are sitting at home, not doing anything in particular and if I answer the question truthfully, and then there comes the invitation, Im in a very tight spot because I already admitted that I dont have anything serious enough to warrant me declining the offer. Just make sure to follow these three rules for sending Tinder messages: Keep it PG-13, even on Tinder. Its a conversation starter, and its my choice whether I continue the conversation by answering or by reflecting it back at them. That's why you should remember these funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" for the next time the question pops up: If you have no idea what degree you're going to get or where you want to live in the future, pretend that you have something big planned, but don't want to ruin the surprise. (Seriously? On the other hand, that was a while ago. The thing about she is family, and I expect family to do X is: Who decides what is necessary, when is it necessary, and who needs to do it? I think that with my previous friend group culture, a sorry, Im REALLY busy for the next few weeks gets taken personally as Im too busy to maintain our relationship, even though Im trying to, um, not be homeless? Many of your comments in this thread have, in fact. There is no need to think about what they're up to or why they sent you the . On Thursday or Friday, its got any plans for the weekend? and on Monday, its do anything fun this weekend? I dont think theyre trying to find it my deep personal secrets, its on the same level as hows it going? or wow, traffic was awful this morning, huh? and I answer at that same level (oh, this and that, how bout you?). Teaching my fish how to swim. I would think that any event for which one needs to book a venue and/or hire a caterer would also be the sort of event to which one sends some sort of formal invitation, which is not really the case for the situations the LW describes. Basically, I dont think people are trying to be manipulative and I do think youre overthinking this, OP. I mean, where are you REALLY from, but whats up is harder, since nothing/dont know tends to elicit a why not? or you should be/do more fun! And I dont know what to say to that, because no just seems rude and I didnt invite them to improve my life. And take LWs at their word, maybe? Read. There are some funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" for when your family keeps asking you the same dull questions. Yay! From the sound of it, this is a dynamic already in place where LW faces various sorts of family opprobrium if LW turns down the cousin, and this is what LW is reacting to. Just about the only good answer is, That doesnt work for me/us, followed by, Asked and answered, when they dont want to take that answer. There have been days when I could be found dancing on the couch and all over the house with this and Bad Reputation on a playback loop, both middle fingers proudly in the air. Want to go to the turnip festival with me or are you busy? Well, Im not busy but I also dont want to go to any turnip festival ever. They are asking whether you want to go on a date with them on Thursday. Read also. When Ive used it outside of the US and on people who are not Anglophones from birth, its often perceived as prying which, in those countries, it is. Yes, my current circles understand introversion well, even the ones who themselves are extraverts . But it is a cost. If ever there was a moment for the standard Wow script, this surely would be it. With colleagues especially, Im not looking to hang out just looking to connect on something, find out what they like about, get to know them better. Its been pretty good policy.) E- Engage in the fun. Based on your listed interests, it looks like we have a lot in common. As for rentpart of my problem with that is: I would never, ever rent a room to a non-family member. You always say Im working on my crochet projects this weekend. Its okay that I struggle with anxiety. She had already asked him. Which brings me right back to not understanding why parents do this to themselves and their children. Born and raised in the US, and I also think this is a weird question not to answer literally. When exercising the advantages of a perceived difference in class or power, however, refraining from using or responding how are you? is an old patrician tactic designed to keep the interlocutor in her place. Or why do I feel entitled to her presence and her company? More detailed/truthful responses are typically only shared with close friends or family. :) Hope you like our compilation and try to stay serious ,please . I read that post all the time. If the emphasis is on you its just a greeting. To pretend that it wont have a cost societally. Thank you for a better way to ask this question. I might not feel quite as entitled to her time, but Id probably still think there were some things I could ask of her that shed be wrong to refuse. That's why this is one of the funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" that you should keep in mind. No Response. I have only one person who does this, my widowed FIL, and it irritates me no end. Clearly, I am not giving him the answer he wants, but I dont particularly want to keep having the conversation. But again, that often leads to a fraught conversation or hurt feelings that arent worth dealing with. I know theyre just trying to be friendly but it gets exhausting that starting Wednesday I have to deal with so what are you up to this weekend and then AGAIN on Monday what did you do this weekend? (So I guess Tuesday is the only day safe from that question, ha. Since LW was talking about very short-term questions, I certainly hope no one is asking because they need to tell the caterer! COME TO LOOSE PLAN HANGOUT THING THAT IM INVOLVED IN OR ELSE YOU MIGHT SHRIVEL AND DIE! and they had the best intentions. Why? When a friend asks and I find out that I am busy I often offer some other day to show them that I am interested in hanging out with them. Thats the way to go. Agreed I dont think that the question signals the other person should do all the planning, i think its a way to judge how willing and able they are to hang out sometime in the immediate future. If I were any better, I'd be you. I tell her every chance I get that Im grateful for all the emotional labor she does with categorizing her friend groups. The Captain covered it with saying the question isnt going away. Fine, thanks.. Where I live, in Sweden, you can ask your family, friends, coworkers etc How are you? and the reply would typically be somewhere between Its good and Im a litte tired because the baby has a cold, but otherwise things are good, but never Kind of bad, my depression is making life really dark right now (at least not when used as a small-talk question). Thats my favorite response! 8. Honestly, about 90% of *soft* invitations to me fall flatly to the ground because I dont pick up the work of planning, timing and reissuing that invitation. Me: Nope. When its done as the pre-request, I get really annoyed that the person wont just ask me directly. Soft invites in my friend circle are more just a mutually understood shorthand for I value your friendship so Im going to express a genuine desire to hang out even were both depressed and introverted and therefore the likelihood of this actually happening is pretty low.. These guys then hope the girl will then respond with relating a fun anecdote, to which the guy will respond by asking a question or two to keep her talking, and then hell think, Great! Good luck! This is how I feel too. And I try to be easier on myself for not having the exciting weekends I think I should be having. Hed ask me what Im doing for the weekend and when i started to tell him a selection of my actual plans hed cut me off while I was talking to make fun of how boring or lame I am or some other stupid comment. Them : Ah, then Ill get back to you (They never get back to you). Thursday is awful for me rushing all day invites the questioner to drop the topic, and Nothing, how about you invites the questioner to ask you to the fun thing. heres what i dont get: why would it be a problem, in the scenario youve given, to say, eh, i wish, but im swamped this week, shitYXZs been happening, ill ping you next week tho. Ask back? They specifically mentioned 4 contexts where the asker then does go on to invite them to do something or asks for a favor. In the age of smartphones I also often find that my calendar is inside the device Im holding up to my ear In theory I could ask them to pause the conversation while I check the calendar, but I havent yet found a script to actually get them to stop talking while I do that. Its okay that I usually spend my weekends watching movies/playing videogames/reading and those arent shameful hobbies. It changed how I felt about her for a long time. What are you doing Thursday? picked up a shift right off the bat. I do have quite good boundaries with my family (after years of building them) and definitely only babysit when I want to. Because our societys patterns absolutely will not let anyone think it could be possible that what I, for example, would be doing with that time is letting my brain process the mathematics that will lead to an invention that most of us will never hear about, but it will make all of our lives better. Like Sounds great but tonight wouldnt work for me or Yknow what, Im pretty tired, I could have made something shorter work but that play will just be too much or just Hm, nah. Early on in dating the boything, he would ask what I was doing that night in a way that made me think it was small talkso Id say oh, Im working on [project] probably, or I might just have an early night. And then he would assume I wasnt free, whereas if he would have said hey do you want to have dinner? I would have been on board. Apparently, social people use this question as a test to see if you are really one of them. Be here at 6.. I think this is a lot clearer in other contexts. You are doing things and going places. Paris color stylo eye shadow neon skirt Paris color riche le stylo eye shadow bronzed How much vitamin c does a clementine have Loreal paris color riche stylo smoky eye avant azure What to get a guy for valentine's day Paris stylo smoky eye shadow hollywood Why is friendship better than relationship Desculpa para sair mais cedo do trabalho View Each Day as an Opportunity, Not an Obligation, Everything That You Can't do Because You Have Kids. Who on earth does #4, besides a small boy under 6? I hate this question too because likeI dont always pick up on it! My nightmare would be something like this: Them: My 6 year old daughter and her class are putting together a full rundown of the classic opera La Traviata in the original Italian and itll end at 11PM on a weekday. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". to add: I think if there are people youre close to who do this a lot, like your sister, you can just tell them its a small thing but it bugs you and can they please ask a different way. In a lot of cases I dont think its meant to be manipulative, its just a verbal tic. @IndoorCatI appreciate your comments. Your kids are loud. I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend. ), (4) I just found a salamander, can I put it in your mouth?. The kind of situation where someone finds out you are free that evening and then says, Good! Im planning an event on Day, are you free? Theyre so nice and interested, they cant possibly be racist/microaggressive! I honestly dont even know why people say it at all when Ive never seen a follow-up to it. (Id definitely use this for the likely-to-request-babysitting sister, for the recordany time youre asking someone a favor, you lead with that, you dont try to trap them into it!). THIS. TootsNYC, why do you feel entitled to some of her time because shes a member of your family? If the person you're talking to has seen Doctor Horrible's Sing Along Blog, they'll appreciate the joke. (I know that I dont want to is in fact a perfectly valid excuse. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you?" Table of contents: I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside Can't Complain. I felt really connected to LW upon reading the letter! Id rather know the thing up front so I can answer it directlyare you free without telling me the activity feels like a setup. I guess the conclusion is, ask more directly up front, and if I know someone has a hard time saying no, make sure I explicitly say, its okay to say no, or something similar. Aunt: Good! 2. You don't want to end up like your crazy aunt who keeps asking you the same question during every holiday dinner. Can we not with passing judgement on the validity of the LWs feelings about this phrase? "That is very thoughtful of you, it was a nice weekend.". Im sure to him thats bewildering, but to me its bewildering that for so long he simply refused to choose to behave with appropriate respect. I decided we couldnt be friends anymore after one time I told her I couldnt babysit and she said, Your calendar says youre free. Feeding a giraffe.
Michael Wiley on Twitter: "RT @h_miller76: Had you asked me what I'd be Even though Ive done the layering myself, I dont usually hear it as an attempt to give me all possible puts. Its the same here. Shampooing the grass. I feel like something mundane like chores will get some pushback, or wont be seen as a task that takes up the whole day(s) off (if I do laundry Saturday, I can still go out Sunday! Even if its only logistically. Ugh. Instead, choose from these five replies. 3. I would think that if one is up to the point of having to plan food, one would have also issued a direct invitation? Or autistic natives; I know this one intellectually, but I still have a lot of trouble remembering in the moment that its usually not a real question, and Im also unsure how to respond when I do remember, because I dont like lying, and Im well/fine is usually a lie for me. These people arent trying to gotcha! And LW is already handling the situation in the best possible way by giving noncommittal answers. Or at least, it will be seen as rude by many people that I know and had had this conversation with. There is literally a meme that says When you ask me what Im doing today and I say Nothing, it does not mean Im free. After answering you always ask the other person in return how they are, and they respond in kind. Could be specific to where I am, though.
'Hope You're Well': Emailing Through a Time of Pandemic Why is that worth it? Its great that you can come!. I get lunch with my coworkers on Friday and there is a lot of so is anyone doing anything interesting this weekend? in our conversation. Oh my goodness I didnt even realize this was posted and then it took awhile for me to read through all of the responses.