were sexual animals, and its hard for me to believe that a guy like Lem who loved JFK, would stand by and let himself be used and be rebuffed by JFK! [16], On September 12, 1953, Billings was an usher at the wedding of Kennedy and Jacqueline Lee Bouvier. JFKs numerous affairs (before, during and after his marriage to Jackie) and his friendships with gay men suddenly had a social and cultural context that was neither gay or straight, but a harbinger of the sexual freedom and experimentation that would soon be championed in the counterculture and the mainstream. [4] The non-sectarian, wooded hillside park is located at 4734 Butler Street in the Lawrenceville neighborhood, and bounded by the Bloomfield, Garfield, and Stanton Heights areas. Perhaps, however, Billings simply chose not to come out for his own reasons, devoting much of the rest of his life to preserving the memory of the man he loved. This is fascinating, Claire. The Kennedy Curse" Episode 205 -- Pictured: Grant Logan as JFK, Adam Cropper as Lem Billings -- John F. Kennedy, "Dunker" the dog, and Lem Billings at the Hague, during their Europe trip. Gore Vidal, the writer who claimed he viewed homosexuality as normal as heterosexuality, disparaged the JFK-Billings relationship during the Kennedy administration. He didn't want to share his friendship with Jack. [17] In 1956 he was an usher at the wedding of Kennedy's sister Jean to Stephen Edward Smith. Release of Secret JFK Assassination Records Delayed by Biden, Angering Some of the Kennedys. [25]:364 According to Kennedy family members, such as Peter Lawford, and others, Billings began using drugs[25]:365 due to the influence of the Kennedy and Lawford boys. According to author Christopher Bram (2012), Vidal told the playwright he shouldnt cruise our next president, then repeated the remark to Kennedy. Billings, a 16-year-old third-year student, and Kennedy, a 15-year-old second-year student, met at Choate, an elite preparatory school, in the fall of 1933. In Jackies absence, Lem managed the Presidents dinner parties, social life and children. It would be the last Christmas in which the United States would be at peace for more than four years. [12], From 1946 to 1948, Billings attended Harvard Business School and earned an MBA. In photos and excerpts from David Pitts's book Jack & Lem, we remember President John F. Kennedy through the lens of his lifelong friendship with Lem Billings. Not just any member, either, he was an assassin and the leader of a Viet Cong death squad who had been targeting and killing South Vietnamese National Police officers and their families. Lem Billings may have been present for many of these events, but if he was, he was just outside the frame of these pictures. Anyone who wants to know more about JFKs actual sex life can email me at tim.a.nicholson@gmail.com Here is my sons grandfather with JFK in Dec 1963. As the previous article mentions more has to be explored regarding the relationship between Lem and JFK! He might have been the reason I never got married. 12 pdf icon; leading cause of death data, including firearm, homicide, and drug poisoning mortality data, and infant mortality . This may have been true of his wife, although perhaps she understood from the beginning that their marriage would be non-monogamous. Still, the Kennedy clan accepted even welcomed Lem Billings into their exclusive inner-circle, practically adopting him, and he became a part of the family. EXCLUSIVE: Head teacher of leading grammar school is sacked for sending parents a list of striking teachers. He may have been the reason I never married.. Lem's team was attempting to take down a number of South Vietnamese officials. His latest book, The Kardashians: An American Drama, will be published in September. In their own words: 'each death is attributed to a single underlying cause the cause that initiated the series of . Knowing the kind of intimate relationship that he had with the president, advisers were concerned about political repercussions, and even blackmail. 'Our story is one of hope': Conjoined twins who made history as first EVER pair survive to separation As Charles Bronson faces a parole hearing on Monday Will Britain's most violent prisoner soon be painting Is this Britain's most despicable man? Billings had once told Bobby that. The story of Jack and Lem opens a window into the presidency, but it also suggests that historians of heterosexuality might want to look more closely to see which gay lives are lived near, but outside the conventional frame, of heterosexual families, a project that novelist Amy Bloom has recently undertaken in her fictional account of the love affair between Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hickock. [19], In 1961, Billings declined Kennedy's offer to appoint him the first head of the Peace Corps, director of a new agency to promote tourism, the U.S. Travel Service, or ambassador to Denmark. 0 references. "Because of him, I was never lonely. I really got to know them well. Lem was no civilian; he was a member of the Viet Cong. (Note my reply) I think the interview I have reference to is less than a year ago! After finding the body and returning the heroin . Didnt Lem confess to a friend that he loved JFK? "[27] Arthur Schlesinger thought Billings "used to glare at me when we occasionally encountered each other in the company of JFK, and for a time I took this rather personally. The Kennedys tolerated his homosexuality, which was considered taboo at the time, Lawrence J. Quirk, the author of'The Kennedys in Hollywood' said Billings and JFK's relationship turned sexual at a point. Advocate Contributors November 22 2013 4:00 AM EST In photos. You can follow her on Twitter . "At Choate, boys who were interested in sexual involvement with other boys were courteous and discreet, writing notes on toilet paper so they could be easily swallowed or flushed," David Pitts writes in his 2007 book Jack and Lem: The Untold Story of an Extraordinary Friendship. I don't think it's true that he did not have views of his own, as some have said. ', Roommates: JFK and Billings (right) roomed atChoate and again atPrinceton (pictured mid-1930s outside a drugstore with roommate Ralph Horton Jr), JFK's sisterEunice Kennedy Shriver said his relationship with Billingswas a 'complete liberation of the spirit' for Jack (Pictured on their Christmas card with fellow Princeton roommateRalph Horton Jr), While her husband had his qualms about Billings and couldn't stand to have him around, the matriarch Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy, had a different take. Have you heard from him?' ", Matriarch Rose Kennedy wrote in her biography that Billings was "one of 'Jack's surprises,' " and soon found a place for himself: "He has really been part of 'our family' since that first time he showed up at our house. However he does quote Billings admission that he may have been in love with Kennedy his whole life. He never lost this.". He escorted Mrs. Stephen Smith, sister of the late President, to . Williams, a handsome gay southerner, had already written seven hit plays. Billings had once told Bobby that when he died he wanted the pall-bearers to be members of Bobby's circle of young friends, whom he knew well and with whom he had done drugs. "Raffish and yet prissy," they write of Billings "a sort of court chronicler reporting on the old days which even Bobby and Ethel didn't recall and functioning as the all-purpose cheerleader, godfather, and pallbearer who could always be counted on. Lem never really left Jacks orbit after boarding school. Jack" he said as he gazed at him softly, It's been a long time. But the point of the picture is the grief any couple would feel at the loss of a much-wanted child. "Lem was sixteen, and Jack was fifteen, when they met while working on the school yearbook at Choate School for Boys, the prestigious New England preparatory school located in Wallingford, Conn. From all accounts it was instant friendship. But above all, Bobby was very important to Lem personally. (Page 95), Jack and Lem on leave, Palm Beach, 1944"It's not clear whether Lem wanted to join the navy and see combat because Jack had, or because he wanted it for himself. He was also plagued by ill health. [4] The Muckers would pull pranks around the school and even planned to dump horse manure in the school gym, but that fell through after the headmaster found out. cause of death. According to Pitts, Billings never recovered from the death of his friend, suffering from a "deep depression" in the weeks and months after President Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas. Though his name isn't as well-known as that of his boyhood best friend, Kirk LeMoyne "Lem" Billings was an important confidante for one of America's presidents and lived a life no less full of its own twists and turns. [66], In 1987, historian Doris Kearns Goodwin described how Billings structured her interviews with him. While at Choate, they formed a club and called themselves "The Muckers". 64, No. What is most interesting to me is the relationship between sexual abuse and power and how idolized men in particular seem to some along with this inability/unwillingness to be kind.Lems story seems tragic, good material for a play or musical. In many ways, Lem was like a father to me and he was the best friend I will ever have.' Variability in proportionate mortality in 363 Latin American cities by country. I'm not that kind of boy.' 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Kennedy Anything Including Possible Affairs, oral history interview for the John F. Kennedy Library. Some of his partners saw the escape from monogamy as liberating too, understanding their romps with the President as special and carefree episodes that they were happy to flaunt. Jackie and Vidal werent cousins. At one point, he is said to have remarked: "After I go, there'll be no more Kennedys.". Mid-1930s. Could he have been the third leg of what was clearly an unconventional marriage? "Because of him, I was never lonely," Billings said once. 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Jack, meanwhile, drew on Billings' unerring presence in his life by his side in sickness and on the campaign trail and even at the White House, where Billings had a room (and where there were at least whispers among the staff about the truth of his personal relationships). Either way, it was a courageous move in view of the casualties the navy was suffering in the Pacific at the time. Allegheny Cemetery is one of the largest and oldest burial grounds in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He had interests of his own that Jack didn't necessarily share. ", Still, he was well aware of his proximity to history. While Billings' missive is long gone, a startled Kennedy responded, 'Please don't write to me on toilet paper anymore. John F. Kennedy (right) and Kirk LeMoyne "Lem" Billings sit in a wicker chair outside the Kennedy family home in Palm Beach. JAMIE RICHARDSON: John F. Kennedy had no shortage of people who considered themselves friends of the 35th president. Sexual Abuse at Choate Went On for Decades. Naval Academy. "[21] In September 1961, he accepted an appointment to the board of trustees of the planned National Cultural Center, which later became the Kennedy Center. Prince Andrew has 'offered to manage prestigious Royal estates including Balmoral but King Charles has told PLATELL'S PEOPLE: Yes, Madonna toyboys are fun but not if you value your dignity. I have been studying human sexuality for 25 years and am a Stanford grad and track athlete. Lem Billings died in his sleep of an apparent heart attack on May 28, 1981, at the age of 65. (Page 4), "When Jack wasn't trying to get Lem to sing on family occasions, he was cajoling him into playing sports -- usually touch football, a game Lem came to loathe. After cocktails, Jackie and JFK proposed some skeet shooting and, legend has it, Williams was a better shot than Jack. Between 1933 and 1935, The bond between Jack and Lem grew so tight, journalist David Pitts wrote in Jack and Lem (2008), that they really had no need for friendships with other boys.. The comments below have been moderated in advance. On some weekends, Jack and Lem would go up there. And did he personally lend a hand from time to time? A crew jock, he met Jack at Choate, a boys' boarding school, in Wallingford, Connecticut (it is now co-ed). [4] Billings' first visit with the Kennedy family was for Christmas in Palm Beach in 1933, after that, he joined them for holidays, participated in family events, and was treated like a member of the family. A Catholic couple, the Kennedys hoped for more children: Jack had been one of nine, while Bobby and Ethel Kennedy had eleven. She had to submit questions in advance. Billings was a longtime Kennedy family friend, working to preserve the slain president's legacy even after death. Naval Reserve and served in the South Pacific until being discharged in 1946. [30], The press frequently reported on his presence at Kennedy family events, such as the arrival of the Kennedy children in Washington in February 1961. Lem Billings was a lifelong friend of Kennedy's, beginning from when they were roommates at Choate, continuing til Kennedy's assassination in 1963. I dont buy it. "I just became fascinated with Lem because he was a closeted but as they used to say 'practicing homosexual,' and he was very much part of the inner Kennedy circle from very early in his life," Bayard said. [13] He later had several jobs, including selling Coca-Cola dispensers to drugstores and working at a General Shoe store. Lem Billings passed away from a heart attack at 65 in 1981. As for Kennedy himself, Vidal asserted that the president 'felt quite comfortable in the company of homosexuals as long as they were smart enough to hold his interest. One famous shot shows the toddler John, Jr., a man who would also die tragically young, playing peek-a-boo under the desk. Joseph Kennedy Sr. called him "my second son," and he sometimes acted as escort for several of the Kennedy women. Kirk LeMoyne "Lem" Billings (April 15, 1916 May 28, 1981) was an American businessman known for his close and long-time friendship with John F. Kennedy and the Kennedy family. Vidal thought Jacqueline Kennedy thought Billings "was kind of a nothing but Jack needed him and she was practical. Bobby Kennedy Jr. read the eulogy. Kennedy first met Billings when they were teenagers at a school called Choate. I suppose if you dont do the missionary sex position thing you can call yourself straight and for any other position, it is just experimental straight sex? [4], In 1939, Billings graduated from Princeton where he majored in art and architecture[5] and wrote his senior thesis on Tintoretto. [51] Red Fay, a friend of the President from his World War II service, said of Billings: "I didn't see anything overtly gay about him; I think he was neutral. He remained in the closet until his death in 1981 at the age of 65, according to Pitts. Eventually, the two friends made contact, however, and began exchanging letters just as they had when both were at home." For example, in Once Upon a Secret (2012), former White House intern Mimi Alford describes a prolonged affair she had with Kennedy, beginning in the summer of 1962 when she was 19 and ending shortly before his assassination on November 22, 1963. Collier and Horowitz described Billings, later in life, as invariably enmeshed in his late friend's larger family. "[Billings] was a witness to so much of what was going on. Billings worked on the 1960 campaign, and then lived at the White House for long stretches of time, a room permanently set aside for his visits. However, gay men played another role in Kennedys history that was not overtly sexual: they were part of an avant-garde cultural world that Jackie Kennedy cultivated, as she linked the Kennedy name to national arts, letters and music for the first time. Joe generously paid for half the cost of Lem's ticket on the way over, saying Lem could pay at least part of it back when he graduated from Princeton. The importance of other causes of death such as communicable diseases, maternal, neonatal and nutritional causes, and noncommunicable diseases like cancer and heart disease varied most between different countries. ", So frequent a presence was he that Ted Kennedy, more than a decade younger than his brother Jack, said he "was 3 years old before it dawned on me that Lem wasn't one more older brother.". [63][25]:505 He maintained close ties to the Kennedys and their children for the rest of his life, frequently socializing with Bobby Kennedy Jr., to whom he became almost a surrogate father, and Christopher Lawford. Still, Billings was viewed by many I interviewed for my biography of RFK Jr. as his gay Svengali who guided and literally tried to control every aspect of Bobby Jr.'s life from the time he was in his mid-teens.