Consider that this child will be a drain on his resources, and possibly yours as well if you marry. The states dont advertise this. (and I hate that C-word.but LW, you deserve it). Bless This Mess. Id at least like a comment from the LW, since, as much fun as this has been, I do agree that it seems not unlikely that the letter is contrived. That is what passes for reality in your world? If you were thinking about breaking up with herthe pregnancy might be a trap. Thus, her meal is tainted with traces of peanuts. One is right next to me . Run as if your life depends on it because it does. First, abandoned is a bit misleading, since (a) we dont know that theyd broken up before or after she discovered she was pregnant and (b) hes agreed to pay for the child. She asked what to do with this guy. I do think he has a legal and monetary one, which he has stepped up to. Because she accidentally got pregnant with his child? You already have something that will tie you to her for minimum 18 years. She told him she got pregnant on the pill, which I think is a lot of cod wallop. I think that the thing to keep in mind is that the angry ranters are really just a very vocal minority. Not exactly. The 16 & Pregnant cast member slash Teen Mom 2 firebrand is many things, but she has never been lucky in love. I always try to take what the LW says at face value though, and a lot of times I turn out to be very wrong when the updates come around, but I still always think its better to react to what they said not what I think they said. But if its not, ITA with Amanda, LW. And the case for this man gets more and more ridiculous. And for what its worth, I highly doubt he can bear to live without you. I mean, he didnt exactly waste any time getting some other chick pregnant, did he? Im not saying he did. April 9, 2012, 6:39 pm, Oh, please. Iwannatalktosampson Yes, he should have realized this was a possibility. In the future, if I should ever have the desire to date again I would use condoms in addition to birth control to make sure I dont get diseases. Turns out that the bout of food poisoning she got after their anniversary dinner and the diarrhea that came with it messed with the effectiveness of her birth control pills. 1970 Mustang Mach I "Synergy Green Pearl"351 Cleveland - Fuel Injection "The Rattle Shaker" Complete nut and bolt rotisserie restoration LESS than 500 miles by C.A.R.S. This is your CHILD. The fact that all this happened doesnt mean hes some despicable jackass.. No interest in fatherhood? Or, she may have seemed supportive during the relationship, but . What I see is a huge surge of anger at the guy and all sorts of reflections on what type of person he must be, and relatively little anger towards the woman, whose pregnancy and right to bear the child are apparently sacrosanct. I agree people who are dysfunctional should not stay together for the sake of the kid it will just make things worse. "The best way to move through a breakup while pregnant is to let the feelings flow," says McDermott. Offset Changes Instagram Avatar to Takeoff Photo After His Death. No clearly this is a brilliant way to be supported for life. Oh wow, that was longer than I expected. ReginaRey landygirl I want to get angry but I don't know if it's considered cheating. I think hes scum because hes furious with the girl he impregnated. iseeshiny John Rohan Whoever is saying otherwise is simply wrong. We . Im sorry, but sex creates children. Has she tried to convince him to come back to her? reader, Maaeexo+, writes (11 November 2010): A Maybe because she wants a tie to the LWs boyfriend. Why is it that she gets to have his child and not you? . bittergaymark Wanting nothing to do with his child, which like it or not seems to be coming, is not acceptable- and a mature girlfriend would help him to see that these are the cards hes been dealt, and that he now has to work with them. That way you and only YOU get to decide which woman you deign to procreate with. just as she has the responsibility not to lie. Its 100% ok if you cant or dont want to be in that situation. Child support, such as it is, is frequently used as stealth spousal support. And hes a bigger idiot if he doesnt think hes responsible for whats happening to him now. I would also ask him to get an STD test because he had unprotected sex. If there was a child at conception, abortion would be murder. Come on! April 9, 2012, 3:33 pm, bittergaymark So true. But I have no tolerance for the ones who cry foul after the fact when it hasnt gone their way. Youre only asking for heartache down the road. April 9, 2012, 5:14 pm. It was a vague post on my part Made even more confusing by the fact that _jsw_ was posting at roughly the same time and then his posted first. wendy, i love you for leaving the crazies to us! Thats the risk that you take. You bet. I dont believe in forcing people to become parents either. Theyre the exact same situation, but for some reason, hes scum. In the current system he has the option to opt out any time prior to conception. And should. Its Gone Downhill. Cant say Id give one to a stranger but intercourse with a stranger isnt my cup of tea either. Stop this back and forth with him. She didnt rape him. No, honey, I am not and I dont believe HmC is either. iseeshiny No. Terrance Dean. I get what youre saying. You know what bothers me, if the lady wasnt pregnant would he have told you of the affair? Reframed to show the immaturity of the argument: And most important of all, whats all this talk of ASKING CUSTOMERS to order fries with that? female SpaceySteph Look you can either take what the LW wrote in the letter to be a marginally accurate representation of what is going on or why bother reading and commenting at all? Hes furious with the woman for keeping the child. Um, yeah. It did say that he was furious at her for not getting an abortion. reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): A Shall I and all the other taxpayers? RunsWithScissors But in that case, taking the pill you know that youre supposed to use a back up method while on ATB. Just sayin. Regardless of all my snark, I really hope that if the two of you stay together you dont take your aggravation about the situation out on the child. the manchild gene!! She has every right to be shocked and upset about the turn of the events, but the way she is reacting; blaming everything on the woman, judging her, calling HER names, is wrong and she comes off as an immature, witchy teenager. If youre going to call anyone a slut, Chuck (which you shouldnt, its really very rude) why not the dude who slept with someone he cant stand and got her pregnant? Shed be less of a real woman if she left the kid on its fathers doorstep and went off footloose and fancy-free while he was left to raise it all alone. Courts are loath to do anything but joint custody unless one of the parents is an absolute idiot. I am sorry, but that is just dumb. Furthest from the vagina, just saying. 13 Honest Reasons Guys Think About Their Ex After A Breakup - YourTango Then, when you decided to get back together he wasnt so sure he wanted to be in a relationship with you. And you want to marry this guy because.why? Abortion is safe and legal, right? I dont usually ever think letters are fake, but this one MIGHT be fake. Again, this implies that a pregnancy must lead irrevocably to a child. But biology runs the show and grown adults know the game going in. Dolce Got Another Girl Pregnant He Broke My Heart.. It doesnt sound like hes ready to be a one-woman man and get married (let alone start a family), and it doesnt sound like the LW is entirely willing and able to deal with being with a man who has fathered a child that isnt theirs. It is duplicated below. I know, right? My boyfriend broke up with me when I was 10 weeks pregnant. April 10, 2012, 6:28 pm. There isnt even a child on the scene yet (!) Continuing along the lines of what John Rohan said above (maybe way above, because Im at work and my reply will take some time to type surreptitiously): The LW and the guy broke up. Now, I suppose, you could argue that my gay friends are more careful because death is probably a bigger inconvenience that a child you dont want and most likely wont really give a flying fuck about anyway But no, seriously Apparently many straight people are just too dumb to use a condom correctly. My biological father, whom Ive never met, responsibly paid child support and didnt confuse me by dropping in and out of my life. I always thought that had to be a mutual decision. Im just trying to clarify the parameters here. Yes? But the LW could be using selective words to paint him in a certain light, such as replacing upset with furious. So me making it a laid-back scenario is no more absurd than making it a scenario where he a shitty human. Ill give you a hint it turns into a baby. Crazy likes crazy. They like to entrap men, too. Ive known people who thought of abortions as no big deal who opted to keep unexpected and poorly timed pregnancies, and people who thought theyd never consider an abortion but who ultimately ended up having one. And hes 28. But I think that both people have equal responsibility and equal rights in expressing a view. If it is his child, he owes the child at least something. Or could CG be right, and this is all a hoax? ago. P.S. Story. While youre at it make sure to pop out a few more kids yourself, too. Therefore, when having sex with a woman, you must assume that she could get pregnant and could keep it even though you dont want it; or on the flip side, abort it even though you dont want her to. April 9, 2012, 10:04 pm. Medications interfere with birth control, not taking it at the same time and whole other host of reason why she could have legitimately gotten pregnant on birth control. I attempt to avoid name calling, but youre not very smart. Dude, get away from this guy pronto! Paraphrased of course. Were looking at this situation through the eyes of his ex whos pissed off that he knocked up this other woman but seems pretty bound and determined to get back with him. If this woman wants to have the child, then she can have it: why is it up to you or your boyfriend to tell her she cant? I dont knowMaybe Im looking at this from the perspective of being an adopted child or having witnessed a friends situation, but I dont think this guy is the worlds worst person like everyone else (but hes still an asshole). Steve Kellmeyer Temperance Lots of it. female I showed up late to the hot debate in the comments (damn you work lol), but to put this in perspective for me, I was born to relatively young parents and now at 25, my dad is a few years older then this gem of a man in this letter. 2. Go argue with the feminists. I have a really hard time believing that this guy who hates this woman and wants nothing to do with this child had a civil conversation with the baby mom discussing their options, while stating his preference for an abortion. But the issue is when he decided not to pull out but bust a load into a strangerhe took on that risk of possibily having the responsibility to pay for a kid for the next 18 years. And we dont really know that she actually said shes on the pill or if she is indeed really pregnant or if the lw truly wants him to go off and marry the other woman. I highly doubt thats what shes doing considering shes only known him for two minutes., SweetsAndBeats I think that is a pretty bad guess with how this guys attitude is towards things, and how badley he wants nothing to do with the child. Why is he such a scummy, awful human being because hes angry with the way this has worked out that hell be on the hook for another human being until who knows when? If you dont want a baby use birth control. She doesnt have to listen to him, but the concern at least needs to be addressed. Let this be a learning lesson for everyone male and female. When you split up with someone, you SPLIT UP. What a laugh. Knock it off. It would be one thing if he just lashed out in momentary anger/shock, but soon came around to a more sane discussion of options, etc. Talk about malarky. He should have taken more precautions. April 9, 2012, 1:00 pm. But I just watched this documentary on ecstasy users whose brains were literally rotting away (Ah!!! Only it is the LW who seems intent on absolving the boyfriend from all responsibility saying furious. He is doing alot better. I think that one should be able to decide if one is ready to be a parent and, if not, make that clear when there is time to abort the pregnancy. He doesnt want anything to do with her? Women Who Got Pregnant From A One-Night-Stand Share What Went Down female Well, hey, point out the flaws in what I said, then. That is a WAY better scenario than I mentioned above which would be an in and out dad who pays zilch and really fucks the kids head up. Thats not the point here. And now I couldnt imagine life without my husband, but Im pretty sure Id live through it (and have) if he werent around. Heres a thought experiment for you: But I guess I looked at it a lot like a woman adopting a baby alone would. Even if she was on birth control. she may well not be at all thrilled to be pregnant and not expecting anything from this guy. We are so in love with eachother and are with eachother all the time. This is why homosexual couples have to adopt. Call me crazy, but I dont see any partys reaction to this crazy. April 10, 2012, 6:23 pm, P.S. Be a grownup, decide if this relationship is worth the less perfect, more dramatic parts, and act accordingly. Its biology. Youre upset that it only took a few months for her to get what youve been waiting for 4 years. You shouldnt be following so closely behind someone that if they were to suddenly slam on their brakes you wouldnt be able to stop (for a billboard, for a kid running across the street, because theyre being dicks, ect). That is not acceptable. No matter what happens, if you open a bottle of coca-cola and it explodes, taking off your arm in the process, Coke pays you damages for it. And if your original point was that gay men are smart enough to use condoms but that heterosexual couples seem too dumb to do so, that 1M number implies youre wrong. The law provides that the parent taking care of the child is entitled to support from the other parent. Addie Pray As for the STDs nobody is saying that you shouldnt have sex because you could get them, they are saying that if you are going to have unprotected sex, and then sleep with a different person after that, you at the very least owe it to them, to tell them that you did this, and if they ask, you should get tested.
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